you’ll live

As a kid, I had all types of ailments. Now I know that I hold my emotions in my body, but then I didn’t know that. I just knew that I hurt. Some things were completely internal. During my teen years I had a perpetual stomachache due to influences inside and out. My back ached, […]

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i thought i had something to write

Often, I say to myself, “I’m going to write on my blog at least three times a week.” A week ago, that was my plan. I’m told that’s how to sustain readership, by having consistent “content.” How do you know you are a writer? Writers write. But I never follow all the way through. I’ll […]

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It’s So Dark

I learned something new today. Apparently, I hate Standard Time. I’m not sure about everyone else, but I’d always thought I hated “Daylight Savings Time.” That unenviable morning in early November that gives us an extra hour of sleep but extra waking hours of darkness. But that moment is not when Daylight Savings Time begins. […]

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it’s been a minute*

It’s been a minute* since I’ve been on here. I go in and out of writing motivation, usually when I’m doubting whether I have something to say that folks outside of my Facebook feed want to hear. I don’t know anymore what people want to hear anymore. We’ve been so separate for so long that […]

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They Tell Us It’s Our Fault

My little one, 8 years old, often feels unheard. He’s a little person, half the size of others in the house. After explaining the horror of George Floyd’s murder, I tried to explain the reaction, the protests happening around the country. I asked him to remember a time where he felt unheard, which I know […]

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Why I Do This

They, the Class of 2020, voted me to be Professor of the Year. My speech is below. Start at 31:21.

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Bye Baby Bye

Yesterday, I watched a show where families were fostering and adopting children. There was a little baby, and my uterus ached. My babies were babies so very long ago. My oldest is 14, a true man-child. My littlest is 8, moving out of the little kid stage, but still there. At 12 is my middle, […]

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My best

I am a bad mother. I’m not checking homework. I’m not looking at Google Classroom. My kids play video games for 50% of the day. My little one was struggling in reading pre-corona and he’ll be struggling after. I am a good mother. I make meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I make sure the […]

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To My Students

I have a feeling you’ve been reading this blog. I worried about that when I started writing on here again. I worried about expressing this side of me, which is not a side but rather an essential part of who I am. I’ve struggled with bipolar depression all of my life. It’s always with me. […]

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Progress

(noun) forward or onward movement toward a destination. (verb) move forward or onward in space or time. When I’m depressed, I prefer the dark, the night. The sun has gone down, the noise of the world quiets a bit. I’m no longer alone. I’m surrounded by the sounds of my kids and husband. The house […]

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