does everybody do this?

Or is it just me?

I drive several miles everyday in order to take my kids back and forth to day care. The drive is pretty much down this one suburban road, which has a school at one of its major intersections. The speed limit is 25 mph, but hardly anyone actually abides by it. Most people go between 30 and 35, and I’ve never seen anyone get pulled over for it. Anywho, when I’m riding in my car, listening to NPR, half of the time with the kids in the car and half of the time not, every now and again some cat will creep up behind me, riding all close to my tail. And I concoct these day dreams about what I would do if he/she tapped me.

If my kids were in the car: We’d both stop and pull over. I would be the picture of calm as he/she berated me for driving too slow. They’d be yellin’ and screamin’ pulling every nasty name out of the book, while I’d be calmly dialing the police on my phone, showing my children how to be the bigger person. I’d make them so frustrated because they would not get a rise out of me. I’d just do my yogic breathing until the anger passed. Inhale, I breathe in. Exhale, I breathe out.

If my kids were not in the car: We’d both stop and pull over. Before he/she starts berating me for driving too slow, I’d tell him/her that he/she shouldn’t have been driving on my f-ing tail, can they read and see the speed limit? And anyway, they hit me from the back – it’s always their fault. I’d tell them all of this, and add in a black-girl-from-the-city neck roll to go with it. And then I would continue to cuss them out, all slow, big-word, and intelligent-like. And they’d be so sorry for tapping me.

Of course this is only in my dream. When I’m having a bad day. And some a-hole wants to ride on my ass.

On a happier note: See you at ASA this weekend!

One thought on “does everybody do this?

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