in another life…

I would have been a yoga teacher. I almost was in this life.

It’s a long story, and I’m bone tired. So I’m not going to tell it. It’s interesting and tragic and sad and hopeful and honest.

But I’ll say this: yoga is the only thing that has consistently kept me off the ledge. Not my meds. Not therapy. Yoga.

When I go to yoga 3 times a week, my body is healthy and my mind works. I don’t get headaches, I don’t have fibro flares, my tummy calms down, I don’t have to pee every ten minutes, and I don’t yell at my kids. I will practice at home when I feel like it, but I love the energy of a class. I think that means to most yogis, I’m not a real yogi b/c I don’t have a consistent home practice. I don’t really care what you call me. I just know what I need.

But for some reason, knowing all that, knowing that I need yoga like I need air, to live, sometimes I get out of yoga for months at a time. And my life goes to shit. It’s the strangest thing. It’s like that person inside that’s trying to kill me. I don’t know how she gets strong, but sometimes she does. And then I have to fight her back and drag myself to a class and BAM! knock. her. out.

And it always comes back to me. My body doesn’t forget. I may be sore as all hell the next day if I’ve been gone for a while, but my body doesn’t forget. It yearns for yoga.

I might still be a teacher sometime in this lifetime. IDK. Would you take my class, crazy as I am?

Birthday wish #4: A handmade card from my kids. It needs to say “Mommy” and they need to draw pictures and write their names. Big A is five now, Little A 3.5. I think with a little help they could pull it off. I’m not going to go all Amy Chua on them and reject it if it’s not worthy, but a little effort would be nice.

2 thoughts on “in another life…

  1. i’m new to your blog, and so glad i found you! please share your almost-yoga-teacher story. i too was on my way to trainer certification a few years ago, then pregnancy, solo parenting, weight gain, homelessness, a near-death experience, and other things interfered. i’m slowly getting back on my feet (and on my mat), and have the goal of being certified by september. i’ll be checking your archives, but would love to hear more about you and yoga. namaste!


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