i need to remember

that every day is not going to feel like this

awareness of how breath enters breathing as energy grounding firmly tears rising up

even though it hurts now hurts now to breathe so hurts all the time no respite no break

i need to remember

that there will be days when the blue sky will be beautiful because its blue but more seen with the painter’s eye

rather than depressing in its monotonous monochrome straight out the tube blue no inspiration needed

i need to remember

that i laughed an hour ago watching al bundy not be al bundy and housewives not do housework

and these tears are just a cleansing bath for my soul to release the birthday the hurdle the grief

i need to remember that everything that comes goes like karma and bipolar

it always has before and i have no evidence that it will not but really fvck the evidence i simply remember me

i need to remember

that as lonely as i may feel

i am not alone:

“for everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds,

and for everyone who knocks, the door shall be opened.”*

namaste

*Luke 11:10