NaBloPoMo – Day 1: Protection

Update: I’m participating in BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo for October. Goal is to post every day this month. I’m already behind, but I love a challenge!!

Five weeks ago, I started a new job. Great work, hard hours, harder commute. Forgot how much I enjoyed the grad student life. Reminded me that in two years I want to be back in academia.

It’s been rough on my body and my spirit. I’m out of my house 12 hours a day. I need to sleep about 9-10 hours to be my best. That leaves 2-3 hours to live the rest of my life – parenting, partnering, community-ing.

When you have an illness, this is unworkable and unhealthy. When you have a mental illness, it’s dangerous. I’ve been there before, and I’m not going back.

So I asked for an accommodation. I said that I’m sick. I said I need to prevent an episode.

I was met with a bit of hesitancy, I think. And that hesitancy made me sad. But I got over it and now I’m working it.  No shame. No guilt. I can do my job, just different. No worse. Probably better.

Two weeks ago, I got baptized. I walked out, in front of people I didn’t know. I said I wanted to die to myself and live for God. I answered a call that had been on my heart. It wasn’t planned.

In my jeans (yes, we can wear jeans to church) and t-shirt, I was dipped and cleansed. Left church in somebody else’s sweatpants and a kids’ shirt. Hair soggy, makeup destroyed. But soul cleansed.

My God  protects me.

When I feel scared, I remember I’m protected. When I feel anxious, I remember I’m protected. When Ie doubt me, I remember I’m protected.

And I remember this protection is so that at the end, I can hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

6 thoughts on “NaBloPoMo – Day 1: Protection

  1. Wow, congratulations on your impromptu baptism, it sounds like it was a beautiful moment for you!

    And I’m glad that you got the accommodation that you needed. I hope that your new workplace continues to (even if hesitantly at first) provide the support that you need to do your job.

    Thinking of you, praying for you! And, always, thanks for sharing. (Fewer and fewer people are sharing via blogging this days, and that makes me very sad. Thank you thank you for still being here).


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