my artist’s soul

I’m finally coming out of the depression that’s plagued me since before the new year. Finally.

What felt so easy to write when down is hard now. I feel silly. I feel like who wants to read what I write. I feel a little list writing here.

I’ve been blogging for almost seven years now. So I know these periods when I see them. I could try and push through, but I won’t.

Instead I’ll share what I have been up to.

1. I have been writing. I’ve rewritten/revised a paper for publication in a law review. And I let it go and submitted it. It was hard for me to do that…I even had a dream that a beloved professor told me the paper was #weak and #wack. Hashtags included. But I let it go, and now have two articles under review. That’s what a scholar does.

2. I have been drawing. I draw every day. My kids call it my “art”. They ask questions like, “mommy, why does it have to be perfect?” It doesn’t, but I don’t stop with a particular piece until I’m done with it. Not sure if there is a formula for when it’s done, but I know it when I feel it.

3. I’ve been working. And working. And working. Evenings, weekends, on the train. And that just is what it is. Bills need to be paid.

4. I’ve been sitting in the sun and keeping warm. At least once a day, I let the sun pour on my face for at least five minutes. I turn on the heat in my bedroom to warm my hands and feet. I’m taking care of myself. I’ve gotten a massage and a facial (that I paid for months ago) and I paint my nails and my toenails and I shave my legs and I do my makeup and my hair. Things I wasn’t doing when I was sick.

So there. That’s it. I have some thoughts for future blog posts, and I’ll get to them in due time. I appreciate you, dear reader.

Thanks for putting up with me.

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