Watching the Feeling Myself video with my hubby. I’m telling him how I think the video is cute. My seven-year-old daughter comes behind us.
Her: I don’t think it’s cute.
Me: Well, it’s not appropriate for children.
Her: So you’re saying it would be cute for me to do that if I was an adult?
Me:
Her:
Me: Well, if you are an adult, like these women are, you could do as you pleased.
Her: And you would be happy about me doing that?
Me: No, not necessarily, but since you’re an adult…
Her: So if you wouldn’t be happy with me doing it as an adult, why do you think it’s cute for them to do it?
Me:
Hubby: I’m thoroughly enjoying this conversation.
I admit, I was at a loss. Why was it okay for me to think it’s cool — I’m not even sure what the it is really — but I wouldn’t want MY daughter doing it? How is this video different from my thoughts on the Beyonce album?
How would you have responded?
Doctor Mama Esquire 
This is the age when our kids are starting to fine-tune their ratings radars and, of course, they point them right at Mommy and Daddy. My 7 year old is thrilled any time she thinks she’s caught me in an ethical inconsistency. A thought — you could ask her to flip the question from: “Mom, would you want me to do that?” to: “When I’m an adult, can I imagine that I might make a video like that?” See what she says. Maybe that inward-pointed question is Mama’s win-win… either she admits, “Yes, I might turn on the iPad with my best girl friend, hit the music and then run over and strut my stuff…” – or – “No way, Mom, I would *never* do that…” If it’s the second (and more likely) response, set yourself a google calendar appointment for May 15, 2022, on the night she has a sleep over with 3 or 4 of her girl friends, and at 2am when she thinks you’re fast asleep, THEN catch her in the act. It’ll be one of those priceless moments where, in the end, Mama is always right.
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Mari — great idea!
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Bravo, she’s insightful!
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