ABD #9: The Creativity Cure

I picked up a new book at the bookstore the other day while my daughter looked for a book for a birthday party. It’s called “The Creativity Cure” and while it’s based on psychoanalysis (which I don’t really need) and is for those with mild to moderate depression (which is not me – I’m in […]

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ABD #8: Wait

Wait with expectation Wait with anticipation Wait I will worship you lord While I wait Honestly, guys, when I started this series I promise it wasn’t going to be about depression and bipolar and anxiety. It was going to be about how I got through the year, in hopes that others reading this would gain […]

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ABD #7: One Week Down

Seven days later, about 3,000 words later, and I have finished my first week. I would not call it a success, but since I’m about looking forward, and not backward, I’ll just say, “Thank you Lord for giving me another chance.” Meds have been adjusted, perspective has been changed. I took my kids, thanks to […]

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ABD #5: festschrift

Today was an inspiring, thought-provoking, and exhausting day. I traveled from Stanford to UC Berkeley to attend a festschrift honoring a prominent, if modest and humble, legal scholar. Festschrifts are usually reserved for scholars who are retiring, or are held after a scholar has passed away. But the organizers of this event felt that this […]

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ABD Day #4: Fake it til…and this too will pass?

At the beginning of the week, I had 221 days to complete the dissertation. The last two have been complete and total busts. As in zero words read, written, or even thought about. Instead I have been plagued by the worse anxiety I have ever experienced in my life. And I’m getting tired of it. […]

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ABD Day #3: Psalm

I woke up this morning with a pulsing of my heart. Something unsettling, so unsettling that the beating of the shower water simply intensified the feeling as the water beat upon my chest. I’ve been suffering from anxiety for about a month now. I wake each morning with this trembling, this fear of nothing, this […]

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ABD Day #2 : I Am Not A Stay-At-Home

One of the things about dissertating is that my time is wide open. No one tells me where to be or what to do. There are no classes, no assignments, no group meetings. To dissertate well, one must be super protective of one’s time. I suck at protecting my time. Case in point: I am […]

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ABD Day #1: Got to Keep On Goin’ On

So I’ve got to keep on moving on This first day was more productive than I anticipated, despite some early challenges. Challenge #0 is every day’s challenge: The 17-month-old and his 6:30 a.m. wake-up poop. Challenge #1: I woke with a racing heart and upset stomach. That’s my version of anxiety. It’s physical and never-ending. […]

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All But….Dissertation? Day 0

September 22, 2013   Howdy folks! I know it’s been a VERY long time since this blog has been active, but I’ve been really busy. Let me catch you up on the goings on of the last year: 1. I had a baby. Baby A was born in April of 2012, and he has been […]

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