you’ll live

As a kid, I had all types of ailments. Now I know that I hold my emotions in my body, but then I didn’t know that. I just knew that I hurt. Some things were completely internal. During my teen years I had a perpetual stomachache due to influences inside and out. My back ached, […]

Read More

It’s So Dark

I learned something new today. Apparently, I hate Standard Time. I’m not sure about everyone else, but I’d always thought I hated “Daylight Savings Time.” That unenviable morning in early November that gives us an extra hour of sleep but extra waking hours of darkness. But that moment is not when Daylight Savings Time begins. […]

Read More

To My Students

I have a feeling you’ve been reading this blog. I worried about that when I started writing on here again. I worried about expressing this side of me, which is not a side but rather an essential part of who I am. I’ve struggled with bipolar depression all of my life. It’s always with me. […]

Read More

I’m Bipolar but I’m Not

Maybe everything I have been saying here and elsewhere is a big lie, I’m not actually sick, a lie I don’t even know I’m telling. 

Read More

To New “Friends” on Facebook and Twitter

I’ve noticed lately that I’ve been accepting friend requests from law professors. Folks perhaps that I met on the market, or just colleagues of other professors. I talk a lot about mental health on here, in particular my own struggle with bipolar II disorder. It’s concerned me a bit to widen my “friends” on here […]

Read More

Me and Fear and Flying

I’m in fear. Afraid. Terrified. Scared. I’m supposed to be happy, flying, resting on a cloud of gumdrops and jelly beans. Celebrating. Elated. I have a GREAT job, the job I most wanted when I was on the job market. For the first time in my life, I can go to the grocery store without […]

Read More

The Day of No Shame

(I usually don’t post two things in one day, but I forgot about putting this here.) #NoShameDay Before the day is over, I wanted to recommit myself to having zero shame about my mental health struggles. I have Biploar II disorder, which means less intense manic episodes than Bipolar I disorder, but often even deeper […]

Read More

“It’s Only a TV Show”: Why I Can’t Watch #Scandal

I jumped on the #Scandal bandwagon pretty late.  Halfway through season two, I started buying season one episodes on Amazon Prime, and my husband and I binged watched. I was particularly fond of the messes Olivia and the Gladiators tackled each week; they were both believable and outrageous, and made for great TV. The back-stories of […]

Read More

I’ve Got That Bipolar Feeling…

One reason I’ve always done well in school is due to the structure. Many graduate students working on a dissertation know this feeling well: as soon as the coursework is done, and time is unstructured by classes and papers, one can find an infinite number of things to do besides writing the dissertation. Now, I […]

Read More