I am Going to Therapy Today and I Really Don’t Want To

April 5, 2021.Reading time 6 minutes.

Cross posted on Medium Image: https://unsplash.com/photos/nJupV3AOP-U But want and need are two different things. And I need this. As I write this, tears are on the verge of spilling over already puffy eyes. The clench in my stomach and pain in my back are making it hard to think. I’m trying to do busy work […]

old year resolutions

December 4, 2020.Reading time 3 minutes.

I’m going to try my very best to take a social media break through the end of the year. This time of the year gets me both hypomanic and depressed. I’m energized by the shopping, and shopping is a huge issue for me when I’m hypomanic. I’m depressed by the darkness and the COVID circumstances. […]

you’ll live

November 17, 2020.Reading time 5 minutes.

As a kid, I had all types of ailments. Now I know that I hold my emotions in my body, but then I didn’t know that. I just knew that I hurt. Some things were completely internal. During my teen years I had a perpetual stomachache due to influences inside and out. My back ached, […]

It’s So Dark

November 2, 2020.Reading time 7 minutes.

I learned something new today. Apparently, I hate Standard Time. I’m not sure about everyone else, but I’d always thought I hated “Daylight Savings Time.” That unenviable morning in early November that gives us an extra hour of sleep but extra waking hours of darkness. But that moment is not when Daylight Savings Time begins. […]

To My Students

April 7, 2020.Reading time 4 minutes.

I have a feeling you’ve been reading this blog. I worried about that when I started writing on here again. I worried about expressing this side of me, which is not a side but rather an essential part of who I am. I’ve struggled with bipolar depression all of my life. It’s always with me. […]

I’m Bipolar but I’m Not

October 14, 2018.Reading time 4 minutes.

Maybe everything I have been saying here and elsewhere is a big lie, I’m not actually sick, a lie I don’t even know I’m telling.

To New “Friends” on Facebook and Twitter

August 19, 2018.Reading time 3 minutes.

I’ve noticed lately that I’ve been accepting friend requests from law professors. Folks perhaps that I met on the market, or just colleagues of other professors. I talk a lot about mental health on here, in particular my own struggle with bipolar II disorder. It’s concerned me a bit to widen my “friends” on here […]

Me and Fear and Flying

July 24, 2018.Reading time 6 minutes.

I’m in fear. Afraid. Terrified. Scared. I’m supposed to be happy, flying, resting on a cloud of gumdrops and jelly beans. Celebrating. Elated. I have a GREAT job, the job I most wanted when I was on the job market. For the first time in my life, I can go to the grocery store without […]

The Day of No Shame

July 11, 2018.Reading time 2 minutes.

(I usually don’t post two things in one day, but I forgot about putting this here.) #NoShameDay Before the day is over, I wanted to recommit myself to having zero shame about my mental health struggles. I have Biploar II disorder, which means less intense manic episodes than Bipolar I disorder, but often even deeper […]

“It’s Only a TV Show”: Why I Can’t Watch #Scandal

May 15, 2015.Reading time 5 minutes.

I jumped on the #Scandal bandwagon pretty late. Halfway through season two, I started buying season one episodes on Amazon Prime, and my husband and I binged watched. I was particularly fond of the messes Olivia and the Gladiators tackled each week; they were both believable and outrageous, and made for great TV. The back-stories of […]