To My Students

I have a feeling you’ve been reading this blog. I worried about that when I started writing on here again. I worried about expressing this side of me, which is not a side but rather an essential part of who I am. I’ve struggled with bipolar depression all of my life. It’s always with me. […]

Read More

Is it okay to not be okay?

[Disclaimer, of sorts — I write for my own healing. Please don’t feel that you need help. I appreciate all of your support, I really really do. I just want to know that people are listening, and perhaps that I am giving voice to someone else who feels silent — that is enough for me.] […]

Read More

I’m Bipolar but I’m Not

Maybe everything I have been saying here and elsewhere is a big lie, I’m not actually sick, a lie I don’t even know I’m telling. 

Read More

To New “Friends” on Facebook and Twitter

I’ve noticed lately that I’ve been accepting friend requests from law professors. Folks perhaps that I met on the market, or just colleagues of other professors. I talk a lot about mental health on here, in particular my own struggle with bipolar II disorder. It’s concerned me a bit to widen my “friends” on here […]

Read More

I thought it would be joy but it ended up as pain

Photo courtesy of Jalon Nichols on Flickr I thought today was going to be different. Technically, it wasn’t like yesterday. It was my official first day of telework. I never left my house. Never even took a shower. Grabbed my favorite yoga pants, a t-shirt, and a comfy sweatshirt, along with my favorite pair of socks. […]

Read More

Remembering the Writer in Me: Depressed Edition

When I’m depressed, I often do (some of) my best work. Not creative work, but work work. Work that requires less mind and more brawn. If that exists on the computer. I write (and think, but more on that below) for a living. My ability to write well is key to my livelihood. If I couldn’t […]

Read More

On Pride

There are a lot of things I have to proud of. Degrees, kids, marriage, friends. I do those things well. But much of the time, I’m proud to get out of my bed in the morning and not get back into it until bedtime. I’m proud to take a shower and wash my face and […]

Read More

Three Unhelpful Words

Believe me: I’ve counted them. A million times. Backwards, forwards, upside and out. I’ve written them down. I’ve told my friends. I’ve laid them at the altar, giving thanks and praise. My home. 1 My children. 3 My husband. 1 My job. 1 My degrees. 3 My friends. 10+ My family. 10+ My (physical) health. 20+ […]

Read More

the times you let your children down

I work crazy long hours. The hours aren’t actually crazy, but since my commute is 1.5 hours each way, it feels crazy. I see my children in the morning before they go to school (had to work my way into that flexibility) and then for an hour or so when I get home before they […]

Read More

I’m Here, I Exist

When I tell someone I have bipolar 2 disorder, the shock that comes across his or her face often takes me aback. If they know me, their shock is a tad annoying. What does me saying I have bipolar disorder change for them? What does the admission trigger in their mind about what someone with bipolar […]

Read More