you’ll live

As a kid, I had all types of ailments. Now I know that I hold my emotions in my body, but then I didn’t know that. I just knew that I hurt. Some things were completely internal. During my teen years I had a perpetual stomachache due to influences inside and out. My back ached, […]

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It’s So Dark

I learned something new today. Apparently, I hate Standard Time. I’m not sure about everyone else, but I’d always thought I hated “Daylight Savings Time.” That unenviable morning in early November that gives us an extra hour of sleep but extra waking hours of darkness. But that moment is not when Daylight Savings Time begins. […]

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To My Students

I have a feeling you’ve been reading this blog. I worried about that when I started writing on here again. I worried about expressing this side of me, which is not a side but rather an essential part of who I am. I’ve struggled with bipolar depression all of my life. It’s always with me. […]

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Progress

(noun) forward or onward movement toward a destination. (verb) move forward or onward in space or time. When I’m depressed, I prefer the dark, the night. The sun has gone down, the noise of the world quiets a bit. I’m no longer alone. I’m surrounded by the sounds of my kids and husband. The house […]

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Is it okay to not be okay?

[Disclaimer, of sorts — I write for my own healing. Please don’t feel that you need help. I appreciate all of your support, I really really do. I just want to know that people are listening, and perhaps that I am giving voice to someone else who feels silent — that is enough for me.] […]

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Sometimes, it Just Rains

They say “when it rains, it pours.” That’s not my experience. Sometimes it just rains for a really long time.  You feel like an imposter a work, your kids are acting all kinds of foolish, your spouse feel like they are on a different planet, and the world seems to be under a constant cloud. […]

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I’m Bipolar but I’m Not

Maybe everything I have been saying here and elsewhere is a big lie, I’m not actually sick, a lie I don’t even know I’m telling. 

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To New “Friends” on Facebook and Twitter

I’ve noticed lately that I’ve been accepting friend requests from law professors. Folks perhaps that I met on the market, or just colleagues of other professors. I talk a lot about mental health on here, in particular my own struggle with bipolar II disorder. It’s concerned me a bit to widen my “friends” on here […]

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The Day of No Shame

(I usually don’t post two things in one day, but I forgot about putting this here.) #NoShameDay Before the day is over, I wanted to recommit myself to having zero shame about my mental health struggles. I have Biploar II disorder, which means less intense manic episodes than Bipolar I disorder, but often even deeper […]

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The Six Friends Every Depressed Person Needs

I’m just gonna jump right into this one before I forget: 1. The Please-Just-Listener (The PJL). The PJL does just that: listen. No more words than, “right,” “uh-hun,” and “okay.” The PJL validates your feelings by being non-judgmental and by not, under any circumstances, giving advice. Sometimes a depressed person needs to just talk and talk and […]

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