Three Unhelpful Words

Believe me: I’ve counted them. A million times. Backwards, forwards, upside and out. I’ve written them down. I’ve told my friends. I’ve laid them at the altar, giving thanks and praise. My home. 1 My children. 3 My husband. 1 My job. 1 My degrees. 3 My friends. 10+ My family. 10+ My (physical) health. 20+ […]

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Rolling with the Homies

Despite having a major mental illness most of my life, I’m not your typical mentally ill person who might be socially awkward. I don’t present as mentally ill. I’m also an introvert, which people who do not know we we’ll find hard to believe. I am pretty socially adept, and don’t have any issues standing […]

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the times you let your children down

I work crazy long hours. The hours aren’t actually crazy, but since my commute is 1.5 hours each way, it feels crazy. I see my children in the morning before they go to school (had to work my way into that flexibility) and then for an hour or so when I get home before they […]

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In the Beginning

I was a sensitive child. I felt every emotion like a tsunami, full blast. I was a crier. Every emotion burst through tears. In my generation, I feel as though unless the emotion was not joy, children were not really allowed to have negative emotions. As I’ve heard from countless peers, expressing displeasure with your […]

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I’m Here, I Exist

When I tell someone I have bipolar 2 disorder, the shock that comes across his or her face often takes me aback. If they know me, their shock is a tad annoying. What does me saying I have bipolar disorder change for them? What does the admission trigger in their mind about what someone with bipolar […]

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NaBloPoMo – October 8: Grateful

I had a weird up and down day. It started down. I wasn’t sure about my hair. I was so tired and had a long drive and I wasn’t sure what was going to be at the other end of that drive so I was anxious. I remembered a scripture in James 1 (this is […]

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When My Kids Lie

I thought my kids did a great job this afternoon with homework and stuff, so I let them ride their bikes to the “corner store” to get whatever they wanted for $2. They got candy, of course. They ate a lot of it. One didn’t really eat dinner, but that’s on me, right? Fine. Tonight, […]

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My Kids Don’t Need Me

My kids don’t need me. The Messenger, 2, started a new day care part-time two weeks ago. It was his first time in a group setting other than church. The first day was a gradual entry day, designed to help kids and their parents with the separation anxiety that can often accompany new surroundings.  I asked […]

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When “No One Way” is Really “The Only Way”

On Saturday, the New York Times published yet another upper-middle-class mother’s story of how she tried to have it all – career, marriage, kids – but found it oh, so difficult. I feel as if I’ve read hundreds of these stories over the past eight years, always hoping to get some glimmer of relevance to […]

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Humbled…and Tired

First, let me say how humbled I am that y’all are still reading. That I’m still getting emails from folks wanting to connect. That my stories and experiences are making a difference. I’m totally and completely humbled. Second, as you can imagine, I’m exhausted. Tired. Writing a dissertation in a year while nurturing a marriage […]

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