I am Going to Therapy Today and I Really Don’t Want To

April 5, 2021.Reading time 6 minutes.

Cross posted on Medium Image: https://unsplash.com/photos/nJupV3AOP-U But want and need are two different things. And I need this. As I write this, tears are on the verge of spilling over already puffy eyes. The clench in my stomach and pain in my back are making it hard to think. I’m trying to do busy work […]

New Post Featured on BlogHer – Don’t Let Depression Steal Your Christmas

December 8, 2014.Reading time less than 1 minute.

Check it out: http://www.blogher.com/dont-let-depression-steal-your-christmas

In the Darkness

November 3, 2014.Reading time less than 1 minute.

I wrote this last year, right around this time. On this first full workday of Daylight Savings Time (or the end of it, I don’t know), I felt this downward pull/push. But I’m also mindful of the treasures and lessons in the darkness. I needed to read this again. Maybe you need it too.

On Pride

October 25, 2014.Reading time 1 minute.

There are a lot of things I have to proud of. Degrees, kids, marriage, friends. I do those things well. But much of the time, I’m proud to get out of my bed in the morning and not get back into it until bedtime. I’m proud to take a shower and wash my face and […]

Three Unhelpful Words

October 21, 2014.Reading time 1 minute.

Believe me: I’ve counted them. A million times. Backwards, forwards, upside and out. I’ve written them down. I’ve told my friends. I’ve laid them at the altar, giving thanks and praise. My home. 1 My children. 3 My husband. 1 My job. 1 My degrees. 3 My friends. 10+ My family. 10+ My (physical) health. 20+ […]

I’m Here, I Exist

October 13, 2014.Reading time 4 minutes.

When I tell someone I have bipolar 2 disorder, the shock that comes across his or her face often takes me aback. If they know me, their shock is a tad annoying. What does me saying I have bipolar disorder change for them? What does the admission trigger in their mind about what someone with bipolar […]

NaBloPoMo – October 6: Thirst

October 7, 2014.Reading time 1 minute.

Is it just me, or do you find you find yourself more thirsty the more water you drink? I’ve been really trying to get my water intake up, especially because I drink too much coffee. So I’m likely doing abut 70 ounces a day now. But I constantly feel parched, my lips are chapped, and […]

NaBloPoMo – October 5: Crunches

October 6, 2014.Reading time 6 minutes.

Note: I’m participating in BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo for October. Goal is to post every day this month. I’ve missed two days, but I’m getting back on track! There are two areas in my life where I have very little confidence. This is surprising to many people, because I don’t come off as a person who suffers (much) from a […]

Break Time

October 17, 2013.Reading time 3 minutes.

I’ve decided to give myself a little break. No dissertation work, or even thoughts about the dissertation. A dissertation vacation you might say. Why? Because I don’t want to end up in the hospital again, away from my family. Because I don’t want to have a miserable year, caught in a slump that has me […]

ABD #13? The Tyranny of CVS

October 7, 2013.Reading time 2 minutes.

Me and CVS (or more properly, CVS and I) have a tenuous relationship. They often don’t have what I want, especially when it comes to my prescriptions. As someone who lives on meds in order to survive, this relationship is hardly convenient. But they are so ubiquitous, and I enjoy convenience (i.e. I can’t do a […]