you’ll live

As a kid, I had all types of ailments. Now I know that I hold my emotions in my body, but then I didn’t know that. I just knew that I hurt. Some things were completely internal. During my teen years I had a perpetual stomachache due to influences inside and out. My back ached, […]

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To My Students

I have a feeling you’ve been reading this blog. I worried about that when I started writing on here again. I worried about expressing this side of me, which is not a side but rather an essential part of who I am. I’ve struggled with bipolar depression all of my life. It’s always with me. […]

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Sometimes, it Just Rains

They say “when it rains, it pours.” That’s not my experience. Sometimes it just rains for a really long time.  You feel like an imposter a work, your kids are acting all kinds of foolish, your spouse feel like they are on a different planet, and the world seems to be under a constant cloud. […]

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I’m Bipolar but I’m Not

Maybe everything I have been saying here and elsewhere is a big lie, I’m not actually sick, a lie I don’t even know I’m telling. 

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To New “Friends” on Facebook and Twitter

I’ve noticed lately that I’ve been accepting friend requests from law professors. Folks perhaps that I met on the market, or just colleagues of other professors. I talk a lot about mental health on here, in particular my own struggle with bipolar II disorder. It’s concerned me a bit to widen my “friends” on here […]

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Me and Fear and Flying

I’m in fear. Afraid. Terrified. Scared. I’m supposed to be happy, flying, resting on a cloud of gumdrops and jelly beans. Celebrating. Elated. I have a GREAT job, the job I most wanted when I was on the job market. For the first time in my life, I can go to the grocery store without […]

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The Day of No Shame

(I usually don’t post two things in one day, but I forgot about putting this here.) #NoShameDay Before the day is over, I wanted to recommit myself to having zero shame about my mental health struggles. I have Biploar II disorder, which means less intense manic episodes than Bipolar I disorder, but often even deeper […]

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I’m not the best

I’m not the best artist. I’m not the best singer. I’m not the best writer.  But when I create, I feel so good. When I take letters and words or paper and pencil or a song that’s been on my heart and use them to create…pure joy.  And that matters more than being the best. 

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My Latest on Blogher: Young Black Children and Suicide

The first time I thought about killing myself, I was eleven. I’d had some trauma in my life, unspeakable things that my tween self could not articulate. Pain that ran deep, seated into my soul. I could not get away from it. Image Credit: Sam D via Flickr At eleven, I didn’t make a plan; […]

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I’ve Got That Bipolar Feeling…

One reason I’ve always done well in school is due to the structure. Many graduate students working on a dissertation know this feeling well: as soon as the coursework is done, and time is unstructured by classes and papers, one can find an infinite number of things to do besides writing the dissertation. Now, I […]

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