I’m not the best

I’m not the best artist. I’m not the best singer. I’m not the best writer.  But when I create, I feel so good. When I take letters and words or paper and pencil or a song that’s been on my heart and use them to create…pure joy.  And that matters more than being the best. 

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My Latest on Blogher: Young Black Children and Suicide

The first time I thought about killing myself, I was eleven. I’d had some trauma in my life, unspeakable things that my tween self could not articulate. Pain that ran deep, seated into my soul. I could not get away from it. Image Credit: Sam D via Flickr At eleven, I didn’t make a plan; […]

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I’ve Got That Bipolar Feeling…

One reason I’ve always done well in school is due to the structure. Many graduate students working on a dissertation know this feeling well: as soon as the coursework is done, and time is unstructured by classes and papers, one can find an infinite number of things to do besides writing the dissertation. Now, I […]

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Nightime = Bathtime

Photo courtesy of Erica Nicol on Flickr As a kid, I always took baths. Everyone in my family did. One day in a science class — biology, chemistry, something — a teacher told us that to save water we should try to limit our showers to five minutes. I raised my hand and asked what […]

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In the Darkness

I wrote this last year, right around this time. On this first full workday of Daylight Savings Time (or the end of it, I don’t know), I felt this downward pull/push. But I’m also mindful of the treasures and lessons in the darkness. I needed to read this again. Maybe you need it too.

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Who I Am Not

When I start to drift down, I tend to forget. I forget being happy. I forget that people love me. I forget that every down day doesn’t mean I’m entering a depression. Most of all, I forget who I am. I am a black woman with great hair 🙂 I am an awesome mother to […]

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On Pride

There are a lot of things I have to proud of. Degrees, kids, marriage, friends. I do those things well. But much of the time, I’m proud to get out of my bed in the morning and not get back into it until bedtime. I’m proud to take a shower and wash my face and […]

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Three Unhelpful Words

Believe me: I’ve counted them. A million times. Backwards, forwards, upside and out. I’ve written them down. I’ve told my friends. I’ve laid them at the altar, giving thanks and praise. My home. 1 My children. 3 My husband. 1 My job. 1 My degrees. 3 My friends. 10+ My family. 10+ My (physical) health. 20+ […]

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Rolling with the Homies

Despite having a major mental illness most of my life, I’m not your typical mentally ill person who might be socially awkward. I don’t present as mentally ill. I’m also an introvert, which people who do not know we we’ll find hard to believe. I am pretty socially adept, and don’t have any issues standing […]

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Useful

I thank many of you for your sweet words these past few days, especially those of you who know me. I write because I want to be useful. I write because I know my words have helped someone. I write because there are people in my life who are going through shit and now that […]

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