It’s So Dark

I learned something new today. Apparently, I hate Standard Time. I’m not sure about everyone else, but I’d always thought I hated “Daylight Savings Time.” That unenviable morning in early November that gives us an extra hour of sleep but extra waking hours of darkness. But that moment is not when Daylight Savings Time begins. […]

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Bye Baby Bye

Yesterday, I watched a show where families were fostering and adopting children. There was a little baby, and my uterus ached. My babies were babies so very long ago. My oldest is 14, a true man-child. My littlest is 8, moving out of the little kid stage, but still there. At 12 is my middle, […]

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Progress

(noun) forward or onward movement toward a destination. (verb) move forward or onward in space or time. When I’m depressed, I prefer the dark, the night. The sun has gone down, the noise of the world quiets a bit. I’m no longer alone. I’m surrounded by the sounds of my kids and husband. The house […]

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Is it okay to not be okay?

[Disclaimer, of sorts — I write for my own healing. Please don’t feel that you need help. I appreciate all of your support, I really really do. I just want to know that people are listening, and perhaps that I am giving voice to someone else who feels silent — that is enough for me.] […]

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Me and Fear and Flying

I’m in fear. Afraid. Terrified. Scared. I’m supposed to be happy, flying, resting on a cloud of gumdrops and jelly beans. Celebrating. Elated. I have a GREAT job, the job I most wanted when I was on the job market. For the first time in my life, I can go to the grocery store without […]

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I’m not the best

I’m not the best artist. I’m not the best singer. I’m not the best writer.  But when I create, I feel so good. When I take letters and words or paper and pencil or a song that’s been on my heart and use them to create…pure joy.  And that matters more than being the best. 

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“It’s Not Fair:” A Working-Class Mama with Middle-Class Kids

“It’s not fair.” The first words out of my seven-year old’s mouth after leaving a birthday party turned barbecue at the home of one of her classmates. She had a great time, and her brother too as he tagged along for the party. I sort of knew what she meant when she said those words, […]

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My Latest on Blogher: Young Black Children and Suicide

The first time I thought about killing myself, I was eleven. I’d had some trauma in my life, unspeakable things that my tween self could not articulate. Pain that ran deep, seated into my soul. I could not get away from it. Image Credit: Sam D via Flickr At eleven, I didn’t make a plan; […]

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My Kids Are Lucky to Have Me: Part I

So many blog posts celebrate motherhood through odes to children.  I can understand why; I, too, think my children are pretty awesome.  I’m only a mother because of them, so I cannot help but feel grateful for their presence. I know I’m lucky to have them. But, quite honestly, I also think they are lucky […]

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Feeling Myself? My Daughter Says Maybe Not

Watching the Feeling Myself video with my hubby. I’m telling him how I think the video is cute. My seven-year-old daughter comes behind us.  Her: I don’t think it’s cute. Me: Well, it’s not appropriate for children. Her: So you’re saying it would be cute for me to do that if I was an adult? Me: Her: […]

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