Bye Baby Bye

Yesterday, I watched a show where families were fostering and adopting children. There was a little baby, and my uterus ached. My babies were babies so very long ago. My oldest is 14, a true man-child. My littlest is 8, moving out of the little kid stage, but still there. At 12 is my middle, […]

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My best

I am a bad mother. I’m not checking homework. I’m not looking at Google Classroom. My kids play video games for 50% of the day. My little one was struggling in reading pre-corona and he’ll be struggling after. I am a good mother. I make meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I make sure the […]

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Progress

(noun) forward or onward movement toward a destination. (verb) move forward or onward in space or time. When I’m depressed, I prefer the dark, the night. The sun has gone down, the noise of the world quiets a bit. I’m no longer alone. I’m surrounded by the sounds of my kids and husband. The house […]

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Is it okay to not be okay?

[Disclaimer, of sorts — I write for my own healing. Please don’t feel that you need help. I appreciate all of your support, I really really do. I just want to know that people are listening, and perhaps that I am giving voice to someone else who feels silent — that is enough for me.] […]

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To My Black Children: We Are Fighting For You

I wrote this at the end of August, after the murder of Michael Brown. Still relevant now. To my Beautiful Black children, This week you returned back home from spending the summer with your grandparents. For eight weeks, you engaged in what so many of our people have done for generations: spent the summers unburdened […]

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On Pride

There are a lot of things I have to proud of. Degrees, kids, marriage, friends. I do those things well. But much of the time, I’m proud to get out of my bed in the morning and not get back into it until bedtime. I’m proud to take a shower and wash my face and […]

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the times you let your children down

I work crazy long hours. The hours aren’t actually crazy, but since my commute is 1.5 hours each way, it feels crazy. I see my children in the morning before they go to school (had to work my way into that flexibility) and then for an hour or so when I get home before they […]

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NaBloPoMo – October 8: Grateful

I had a weird up and down day. It started down. I wasn’t sure about my hair. I was so tired and had a long drive and I wasn’t sure what was going to be at the other end of that drive so I was anxious. I remembered a scripture in James 1 (this is […]

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When My Kids Lie

I thought my kids did a great job this afternoon with homework and stuff, so I let them ride their bikes to the “corner store” to get whatever they wanted for $2. They got candy, of course. They ate a lot of it. One didn’t really eat dinner, but that’s on me, right? Fine. Tonight, […]

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Humbled…and Tired

First, let me say how humbled I am that y’all are still reading. That I’m still getting emails from folks wanting to connect. That my stories and experiences are making a difference. I’m totally and completely humbled. Second, as you can imagine, I’m exhausted. Tired. Writing a dissertation in a year while nurturing a marriage […]

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