can i live?

so classes are officially done and i’ve turned everything in. the mother of one of my friends is taking care of my daughter in the mornings this week so that I have some time to get some things done. the problem is i have hardly gotten anything done because i am 1) paralyzed by all that i have to do and 2) don’t really want to do any of it.

the list: take a shower, buy a digital camera, buy a wireless router, organize the children’s clothes, take both laptops to be fixed, buy and decorate a christmas tree, figure ideas for what we’re gonna do when the parents get here, finish my master’s thesis, buy gifts for my children’s caregivers, cook, vacuum upstairs, match and put away the socks, clear the bathroom shelves, organize the hall closet, buy more lights, buy gift for my husband, do my yoga practice everyday, prepare data set for next quarter, write these posts, create new pages, fix my favorite sweater, find and scan an old paper, take the car to get the license plates put on, plan dinners with two other couples, figure out what we are going to do during the planned 10-hour power outage, find recipes, and i’m sure there’s more.

now, most of these things are not really things that HAVE to be done, but it would be nice if they were. but all i want to do is sit and drink tea, do crossword puzzles, finish two books, read magazines, watch oprah, and listen to alicia keys and jilly from philly. just chill.
*sigh*

6 thoughts on “can i live?

  1. Sometimes that’s just what you’ve got to do. Trust me, the other stuff isn’t going anywhere. You deserve to take some time for yourself and just chill. I’m getting used to letting things be undone… not all things… but some. I keep promising myself that I won’t stress out about how messy the house gets, and I shouldn’t because it only stays clean for about an hour… we don’t live in a Better Homes and Gardens picture… we have stuff and we’re existing in our home. Hopefully you’re not stressing about gifts for your friend or her mom, because your friendship is the gift!

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  2. I like how ‘finish my master’s thesis’ is embedded within the long list, couched safely between the things that take time, but not so much stress. That can be a coping mechanism right there.

    Or you could re-examine the list from a stereotypically girlie perspective, remove all the ‘to buy’ items, and change it to ‘I get to go SHOPPING!’

    Planned 10-hr power outage?!? Suckage.

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  3. anomie – yes, i liked how i did that too. good news is that it’s pretty much done, just need to add a couple references and write a conclusion. hopefully i’ll do that after i finish writing this. and i have to keep all the “buys” or else i’ll forget my real goals and end up buying a whole bunch of isht that i don’t need and have serious buyer’s remorse…

    twinmommy – you are so right. i cleaned up yesterday really well, and by the end of the night (and still this morning) it looks like a tornado rolled through here. my mind just feels cluttered when my space is cluttered. i’m trying to find a way to work around that, but it’s hard 😦

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