she’s gone.

She didn’t want anyone to know she was in the hospital.

She didn’t want anyone to visit her in the hospital.

She went in two weeks ago.

She never came out.

I didn’t know she was sick.

I didn’t know she was dying.

How could I, all the way out here?

I still don’t know why. Why did she die?

They were all there. Holding her hands, until she…left.

There is something to being here, away from my family. Something to be said about being independent, on my own, doing it by myself. And then there is something to be said for being away, so far away, too far away, disconnected, receiving news over the phone, unable to get more than an, “it’s alright, honey,” when what you really need is a hug.

In either case. She’s gone. I miss her.

******

In other news, I successfully defended my dissertation proposal today.  Yay.

2 thoughts on “she’s gone.

  1. Congratulations on the defense and I’m so so sorry about your loss. 😦

    I lost both of my grandmothers in Brazil while I was here, the first back in 1997 and the second in 2008. I know how hard it is to be so far away.

    Like

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